Before you conisder suicide there is something you need to consider some things At some point in our life we all feel like we’re worthless, we feel like no-one wants us, we lay there at night listing all of our flaws. We can list about 50 minimum, when you’ve reached the tenth flaw you’d already be in floods of tears. You can’t imagine any of your friends or family feeling any of the things you feel. You can’t imagine all these popular girls feeling the feelings you’ve felt. You’re friends are prettier than you, they all have boyfriends to remind them of that every day. They kiss in front of you, make you feel so useless and lonely. You wonder if anyone will ever love you like that. Even all the “ugly nerds” manage to find relationships. That must mean you’re really ugly right? - You dump your bags on your bedroom floor, you’ve had yet another pointless day at school. You remove your clothes and just before you slip into your pyjamas you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You twist from side to side, frowning at your ugly body. You wish you could just lose weight, just lose it in the blink of an eye. But, you really can’t, you don’t have the patience. You’re ugly. Everyone is smarter than you, and you mean everyone. You don’t even know how you got into top set in school. You fail in every test you do at school, you have no motivation to revise and nothing your teacher says in class makes sense. But, you’re too shy and scared to talk to your teachers. You feel like when you can’t understand the task, your teacher hates you and they despise you for being dumb. But, you can’t help it?! - The teacher points at you in class, you snap back into reality and realise you have no clue what to do. You feel your face burning red as all eyes are on you. It’s like everyone in the class is screaming the answer at you in your mind. You just sink into your seat and say you don’t know the answer. The teacher lets out a longing sigh before asking another student. They answer straight away. Why can’t you be clever like that? You wish it would all just make sense. You’re dumb No-one seems to have the same flaws as you, or none in fact. You’re mood is quick to change. You’re hypocritical. You’re annoying. When you’re happy you get really hyper. But, when you’re sad people get annoyed that you won’t speak to them. You look trampy in make up. All these girls get so many more likes on their profile picture than you. You laugh at your own jokes. You try to bring people together but make it worse. You’re un creative. You’re unoriginal. You’re poor. You’re shy. You’re awkward. You’re inappropriate. You can’t sing. You can’t defend yourself. You get attached to the small things and can’t let people/things go. You get your hopes up and get let down. You’re argumentative. You spend too much time on the internet. You struggle to fit in. You’re way too modest. You judge people. You try too hard and fail. You get lost in thoughts. You over think everything. You’re useless. You’re alone. So consider everything you just read. You can’t stand yourself, your life, the people you’re jealous of. You just can’t cope any more. You don’t live for anything. You’re living because you’ve been commanded to. Because you’re trapped by the people around you. You don’t see the point in being around any more. So what can you do? Ignore everyone? Impossible. Run away? You’ll just get yourself in more trouble. All you can think to do is go, die, commit. You consider the different ways to go. You know that this time you definitely want to die. There’s noone around to stop you. You’ve chosen the quickest option to get it over with. You’ve written a letter saying you’re sorry, that you couldn’t take it anymore and you had to go. Any second now you’ll drop. The life taken from you in a second. Less than that. BUT, you’re not alone. And you should know it. When you go, all the people who slightly hurt you in your life will feel guilty, even the people who didn’t know you would be broken. Everyone would be broken. ‘cause let’s be honest, it’s not every day that someone you know commits suicide. It’s quick and easy for you, no more worries right? But it’s not easy for everyone else. It’s a big shock and you’ve caused it. You’ve caused the biggest shock of the month, year, decade in your area. You were never able to create that impact and suddenly you distressed loads of people. You never know who might follow you in death all because you did. You’d be letting down your family. All these people you thought weren’t broken, well, they are. You’re only young after all, every young person goes through a hard time. All those broken teenage girls that felt how you did but kept it in will have nothing to cling on to. They’d kept strong for so long, just like you and now you’ve loosened their grip. They’re falling apart because of you. If you stay though, what will it do for you? Well, think about what dying won’t be able to offer you. Since when did the “afterlife” supply music, hugs, fresh air, birds, art, community, your favourite comic, you’re favourite food. All the things you enjoyed won’t be there for you any more. But, if you stay you can keep all that. So stop telling yourself you’re worthless and that life won’t take you somewhere. People do care and you’re letting all of your bad times and thoughts consume you and it sucks. If you brush off the bad things then you’ll allow yourself to breath, to smile. If you ever feel slightly upset or worried talk about it straight away but make sure when your friends need to talk that you’re there for them. Trust me, you. are. not. alone. You’re not the only one and if you just climb to the top of your thoughts you will be able to see into your future again and it will feel so good. So, whenever you feel suicidal just promise me you will not dare. If you need to talk there are hundreds of numbers to call and if you need to talk to a teenager, someone you know will understand…
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